Life

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My Dad March 11, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Nelda @ 5:42 pm
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Dad,
I remember missing you when visiting grandma in Seguin.
I remember the time you helped me with my Algebra.
I remember when we talked about my desire to attend college.
And I remember you talking to me about boys.
I remember the years you would take our squad to cheer camp.
All the summers you painstakingly took care of the grass in our back yard for our practice sessions.
And the “let’s rough it” vacation trip to Big Bend as a pre-teen.
I remember the time you taught me the game of football.

And how you taught me how to dance, placing my toes on your shoes.

Our times at the dinner table and you sat at the head chair;

I remember that old beat up truck you loved so much.
And the game of golf you spent so much time playing.
I remember the time when you told me I would grow to be a beautiful swan.
And I remember our talks when we jogged.
I remember the time when you said, “when can I come for you” when I lived far away and things were not going well for me as a young adult.
I remember all the parental teachings you imparted over the years and all the things you didn’t say, but now understand why you didn’t.
I remember all the “Dad-isms” you said over the years as I say them today.
And I now go around the house turning off the lights and remember whom I learned that from.
Dad, I hope your life was filled with love, hope and faith as much as it was filled with chaos and drama.
And because now you can’t remember, I’ll remember for you, I remember the love.
I love you Dad.

Me, my Dad and my sister

 

Life’s waters September 17, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Nelda @ 3:20 pm
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Like swimming through warm water

The day flowed like silk

9-16-2009Evident that my life has its ebbs and flows

Streaming amazingly in concentric circles

I tune into my heightened senses, my spirituality, my loves, and my passions to take me through the waters ahead

9162009

 

Insecure people August 18, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Nelda @ 1:50 pm
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Michael SandersThere have been many encounters with people who are insecure. They are hurtful. Not necessarily hateful, I’d like to think unknowingly hurtful.

They are the ultimate manipulators.

They’re great at disguising themselves as innocents, as nice people – then reveal themselves at times convenient to themselves.

I recognize you. It pains me to know you.

I leave it to the universe to reveal it to you and karma to teach you empathy.

 

Embrace change June 15, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Nelda @ 8:36 pm
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I recently visited one of my favorite towns in Texas, quaint, rustic, and mellow. When I entered one of the shops I spotted this piece of artwork.
It captured my attention first because of the visual colors (they’re some of my favs red, rust, green. gold), then the art, then the words inscribed.
When I read the first line…”Embrace change”, I thought that was interesting. I could relate. One really must embrace change in this ever-changing world. I’m forever evolving and so embracing change is not a strange concept to me.
I never really put much thought into what became of the person I left behind.
Am I a better person for embracing change?
Was I a good person before I “evolved”?
Taking on the challenge of evolving is a huge step in learning about oneself in the past and present.
I’m looking forward to what I embrace next.
Embrace change

 

Boo Boo the karma kittycat June 2, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Nelda @ 8:34 pm
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Boo Boo kittySeveral months after my son left home for college I felt such a sadness I’ve never experienced.

I sunk into a depressive funk for months reminiscing about my son’s life from birth through young adulthood.

I’d walk into his room and fall asleep crying in his bed aching from the emotional pains.

For nearly half a year I was thinking about getting a pet that would help occupy my time, my natural inclination to nuture.

Out of chaos came opportunity.

By chance a colleague was looking for a home for a kitty she had found while visiting her mom in Dallas.

It took one photo emailed by Kathryn for me to know it was karma.

That little kitty was meant to be with me because we came to each other in our time of need.

It was our destiny to be together.

I named her Boo Boo (Kitty) in part to pay homage to Laverne and Shirley’s kitty, but also because she repaired my boo-booed heart and I must admit, I love saying her name, Boo Boo Kitty.

Boo’s no longer a little kitty, but she’ll always be that tiny fur ball that used to sleep around my neck that first month after I brought her home.

She recently celebrated her 5th birthday!

Boo brings much joy to my life.

I appreciate her natural inclination to take pause, stretch, yawn and relax, but I don’t appreciate her stomping across my keyboard!

Oh well, that’s Boo for ya, always reminding me about what’s important.

That’s why I love her attitude. I love her life!

 

Feeling drama-less May 26, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Nelda @ 6:16 pm

Is it me or am I feeling like there are people out there who constantly like to create havoc and stir up drama in their life?

These people like to suck you into their drama-driven vortex that’s damaging to your core, your spirit, and your essence.

I’ve known a few of these people. At first I didn’t know how to recognize them but I believe it was because I grew up in a “drama driven” environment so for me, “drama” was the norm.

Having been around all different kinds of folks in my lifetime, I now recognize the personality traits. So in order to take care of me, I must stay away from those who like to hate, distrust, manipulate, conspire, and so on.

It took me a very long time to realize no matter how positive you want to remain, these folks live to break you down and suck the life out of you.

I can’t help that I want to see good in the world, in people, situations, that’s just my nature.

I prefer to hang out with like-minded people. For me, life is full of color; it can be purple, pink, orange, red, rust, blue, fuchsia, light pink….

I know I’ll never be able to avoid drama-driven people, but I can certainly inspire hope and I can certainly choose which direction to take that’s best for me.

The Jardin

 

“The power is in the one who cares less” May 18, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Nelda @ 10:33 pm

It’s been a long time since I took pen to paper to write something very personal. I used to write all the time –  some 10+ years ago. I don’t know why I stopped, but I always felt good after I finished a piece. A piece of poetry, musings, photography, a thought, a sketch. It was cathartic and very personal for me. 

I’ve been inspired to start up again by my friend Mike (read his blogs at prettymike.com). He’s an excellent writer. He writes thought provoking pieces that elicit feelings from many of his readers/followers. It got me thinking about my past journal and poetry writing. Most of what I’ve written has been saved for my son Stephen. Pieces I wrote when he was born. A toddler. A little guy. Mostly I wrote about my pain having gone through a divorce when he was young so my tears were the words I thought in my head, felt in my heart and poured onto paper. 

Those journals include sketches – drawings about things Stephen was doing or playing with at the time I sat and wrote these poems. I think one day when he reads the journals he’ll laugh at my sketches, but then maybe not. He’s a young adult now and married. He never ceases to amaze me in the things he says to me that always make me take a step back and look inward. 

So here’s my first installment and hope there will be more to come as the creative juices start to flow… 

I recently hear the phrase “the power is in the one who cares less”. I wondered who these people might be and thought…

How absurd

Painfully true

Masked pain

Less-loved

Lost love

Abandoned

Selfish

I give no power to one who cares less

For I am an optimist

Reasonable

Honest

Much loved

Cared for

Selfless

The power lies within me and I care